Monday, February 18, 2013

lessons learned

wow. it is definitely crazy how fast time flies. the second semester of my second year at BYU has just begun... AND I am really REALLY bad at blogging, and I wish I was better but I can only do so much.

It has been about a year since the last time I have done one of these posts and there is something I have realized;; I think it is interesting how much time can change things. how it can help you realize how important living in the now really is. I have always had a hard time with that, I never really take the time to look around and appreciate the things that I have now instead of hoping for the things in the future to be better. I was just reading the last post I published and it is just CRAZY how everything has changed. I have a whole new group of friends, {mostly because everyone left on their missions} as well as the old ones too.. but also a whole new set of people that I trust and rely on for so much.

Everyone always told me that the first semester of your sophomore year was the hardest, but I didn't believe anyone.... well folks, turns out I was wrong. It was so dang hard... and not just scholastically but also in every aspect that you could think of. I keep moving further and further away from childhood and closer to real life and that is so scary to me. I have to solve all of my problems on my own, I cant rely on other people to get me there anymore. even though it was difficult, through the challenges that I was presented with, I learned so much about who I am as an individual and what I want and need in my life in order for me to be happy.

I started my freshman year wanting to become an Advertising major and working hard towards getting into that program. One day, I was sitting in one of my advertising classes and I realized something. My professor was giving an object lesson where he had two watches. Both were made in the same factory, and they were both EXACTLY the same. One was valued and purchased at $15 and the other was sold for $150. They were the EXACT same thing, the only difference was the way they were marketed. because the $150 one was perceived to be worth more, people were spending more money on it, it didn't matter that the quality was the same as the other $15 watch.  People were essentially being tricked into spending more for it because thats what the world thought it was worth.  This was about the time that I stopped taking notes, looked around and decided that this was a LOAD OF CRAP. TOTAL LIES! I felt so dishonest! how could I make an honest living trying to trick other people into spending more of their money when whatever I was advertising was worth so much less... oh jeez I just couldn't do it. so.. on the last day I could have possibly changed my schedule, thats exactly what I did. I decided that I wanted to be a teacher. That is something that I will be so good at, and something that helps people. I want to be the teacher that little kids look up to,, that they remember as the person that helped shape who they are.. the one that cared about them when maybe no one else would. Heavenly Father helped lead me to this decision. He put people in my life at the perfect times to give me a blessing when I needed it or to help me find my car keys when they were lost. He knows me better than I even know myself, and He has helped me and will continue to help me reach my final goals in life.

That is just one thing that I figured out and fixed about my life this year. I also was blessed with challenges to learn self worth and to gain personal respect that I'm not entirely sure I had before. One word you guys...  boys. THEY ARE SO DUMB! I HATE THEM! BUT I LOVE THEM! AHH I HATE THAT I LOVE THEM!!!!! sheesh. They sure can teach you a whole lot about who you are and what is truly important to you. It is interesting to me that I can be in a situation and be completely and totally confused about what is going on and what I may or may not be feeling, and then I can just simply wake up one day and realize that I deserve way better then whatever it is that I did or didn't have. {sorry if that didn't make sense, the whole situation I am referring to doesn't really make sense to me either.. still} Long, crazy annoying, way over told story short, there was a boy that I thought I was in love with, but when push came to shove, he wasn't committed. I woke up one day and realized that by being with him, I was slowly {and so quietly that I almost didn't realize it escaping} loosing myself.  I can look back and see that I was enduring this crazy emotional roller coaster for a reason I have yet to discover. This guy is a great, amazing, spiritual person, just not the right one for me. I am so grateful that I live my life close enough to the spirit that I could recognize what wasn't right for me. Also, I am grateful that Heavenly Father loves me enough to make me go through these things so I can learn. Also, I am SOO grateful for my family and friends that gave me advice, but also didn't get too mad when I didn't really listen...

Guys, if there is one thing that I could teach all of you through my experiences this past little while, it would be to trust in the Lord, our Savior Jesus Christ and in Heavenly Father and heed to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. They know us better then anyone on this planet and they Love us more than we could ever imagine. I often struggle, but when I wake up and remember to turn my burdens on the Lord, I am instantly made happy again. I love you all and I want you all to know that God has a plan. He has a plan for each and every one of us and his timing is perfect.

Here are some pictures of my life, just cause i love pictures:)

First Football game with these lovelies

Baby bro on Christmas morning

Wedding dress shopping for little miss engaged!!! 

My best friend Riley and Karley

Mckenna and our new puppy Dash

We got to go to the General Relief Society Meeting

KATE! she left to serve a full time mission in Carlsbad CA

Mc with a weird scarf thing... I'm not really sure what it is

One of my very best friends Autumn

Jenessa is going to Finland on her mission

Got a job at the Dean of Religions office. I LOVE IT

Look at that beautiful sunset:)

Sloane and my mother during the summer

Can you guess what I was for Halloween?

My momma came to visit:)
Ashley's surprise party

My beautiful roommates