I'm going.

Well guys, I have an announcement.

I have decided to serve a full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Here's how it happened:

After about 5 months {since the announcement in General Conference} of praying about whether or not a mission was right for me and teeter-tottering back and forth between "YES I'm going" and "Ehhhh better not.." I had decided that it wasn't for me and that I didn't want to go. At about this time there were some things happening in my family that made me want to stay; so I could be there for them.  I was totally at peace with this answer {or so I thought}. About a week later, I went to a school sponsored event at the Provo Beach Resort with some friends and afterwards, I drove with my friend home. I was kind of vaguely venting to him about what had been going on in my life at that time as well as some things I've been through in the past. Mid sentence he said, "Saige, have you thought about going on a mission? I think you need to go." My immediate response was something like this, "YES.. I KNOW." I was a little shocked at what I had just blurted out of my mouth. I didn't know.. did I? I already made the decision... I wasn't going. But I think deep down I knew that I really was. I knew that going on a mission was really the best thing for me.. and my family. And that is exactly what my friend said next. He said that being on a mission will be the best thing for my family, my little brother especially. I get to be a positive influence in everyone's lives. Blessings come to the families of those that serve. The Spirit testified to me that what my friend was saying was true and that the Lord needed me for his army. Just like Peter, He knows that I love Him. I need to feed His sheep, feed His lambs.


Later that night, I got down on my knees and prayed to know if it really was for me. I wanted to make sure that it wasn't just a feeling I was creating for myself but something He really did want me to do. It is thy will, not mine be done and I just needed to know what His will is for me. I opened the scriptures, just hoping and praying that something would stick out to me. I opened to D&C 126:3. This scripture changed the course of my entire life. It reads, "I therefore command you to send my word abroad, and take especial care of your family from this time, henceforth and forever. Amen." My prayer was answered. I knew. I knew that I need to go.

The next day I went to one of my very best friend's little brothers baptism. When I was there I was overcome with the knowledge that that exact thing was what I needed to be doing. What I had read and prayed about the night before was reaffirmed as this little, innocent 8 year old boy bore his testimony about the truthfulness of the gospel. I knew then that I need to send His word abroad, so that others can feel His love and gain the true happiness that the gospel can and does bring.

My papers are almost finished and they will be submitted in one week!! I am so excited to see where the Lord will send me. I know that where ever it my be, that that is where I am supposed to go and where I can best give the truthfulness of the gospel.

So guys... Start guessing!!

forgiveness

Forgiveness is kind of a hard thing for me to fully grasp. I try hard to get over things that people do or say and move on, sometimes it works better than others, but I feel like I usually do a pretty good job at that.

These past few weeks have been really interesting.. to say the least. The concept of forgiveness was a huge part of that. I received a letter from someone from my past apologizing for some things, and at the end of it, he asked me for my forgiveness. I was shocked. So shocked. I had never in my life expected to receive anything like what I was reading. I found my self seriously reflecting on his request for my eventual forgiveness. I have tried my entire life to get over these hurt feelings and give it to him, but for some reason, it is so hard. I think I have no problem getting over silly little issues because that's way easier than the getting over the bigger ones. When push comes to shove, it is important for me to remember that our Savior has forgiven me of my sins. So, if I am being forgiven of all the things that I do wrong {which happens to be quite a bit} then who am I to not forgive someone else. I'm taking a New Testament class right now, and it's like the parable in Matthew, the one about the king forgiving this HUGE debt that some merchant owed him, and then that same man turned around and would not forgive his servants debt, which was a sliver in comparison to the debt that was forgiven of him. I think I can learn something from this...forgiving is not easy, but I think that once we can fully accept God's forgiveness, it makes it so much easier to forgive others. Forgiving isn't easy, that's obvious, but man does it feel so good when you can just take a deep breath and let what ever it is go. Christ took my sins upon himself so that I can eventually return home. It is clear that this is something that I could never repay, but I can certainly start by having forgiveness.

lessons learned

wow. it is definitely crazy how fast time flies. the second semester of my second year at BYU has just begun... AND I am really REALLY bad at blogging, and I wish I was better but I can only do so much.

It has been about a year since the last time I have done one of these posts and there is something I have realized;; I think it is interesting how much time can change things. how it can help you realize how important living in the now really is. I have always had a hard time with that, I never really take the time to look around and appreciate the things that I have now instead of hoping for the things in the future to be better. I was just reading the last post I published and it is just CRAZY how everything has changed. I have a whole new group of friends, {mostly because everyone left on their missions} as well as the old ones too.. but also a whole new set of people that I trust and rely on for so much.

Everyone always told me that the first semester of your sophomore year was the hardest, but I didn't believe anyone.... well folks, turns out I was wrong. It was so dang hard... and not just scholastically but also in every aspect that you could think of. I keep moving further and further away from childhood and closer to real life and that is so scary to me. I have to solve all of my problems on my own, I cant rely on other people to get me there anymore. even though it was difficult, through the challenges that I was presented with, I learned so much about who I am as an individual and what I want and need in my life in order for me to be happy.

I started my freshman year wanting to become an Advertising major and working hard towards getting into that program. One day, I was sitting in one of my advertising classes and I realized something. My professor was giving an object lesson where he had two watches. Both were made in the same factory, and they were both EXACTLY the same. One was valued and purchased at $15 and the other was sold for $150. They were the EXACT same thing, the only difference was the way they were marketed. because the $150 one was perceived to be worth more, people were spending more money on it, it didn't matter that the quality was the same as the other $15 watch.  People were essentially being tricked into spending more for it because thats what the world thought it was worth.  This was about the time that I stopped taking notes, looked around and decided that this was a LOAD OF CRAP. TOTAL LIES! I felt so dishonest! how could I make an honest living trying to trick other people into spending more of their money when whatever I was advertising was worth so much less... oh jeez I just couldn't do it. so.. on the last day I could have possibly changed my schedule, thats exactly what I did. I decided that I wanted to be a teacher. That is something that I will be so good at, and something that helps people. I want to be the teacher that little kids look up to,, that they remember as the person that helped shape who they are.. the one that cared about them when maybe no one else would. Heavenly Father helped lead me to this decision. He put people in my life at the perfect times to give me a blessing when I needed it or to help me find my car keys when they were lost. He knows me better than I even know myself, and He has helped me and will continue to help me reach my final goals in life.

That is just one thing that I figured out and fixed about my life this year. I also was blessed with challenges to learn self worth and to gain personal respect that I'm not entirely sure I had before. One word you guys...  boys. THEY ARE SO DUMB! I HATE THEM! BUT I LOVE THEM! AHH I HATE THAT I LOVE THEM!!!!! sheesh. They sure can teach you a whole lot about who you are and what is truly important to you. It is interesting to me that I can be in a situation and be completely and totally confused about what is going on and what I may or may not be feeling, and then I can just simply wake up one day and realize that I deserve way better then whatever it is that I did or didn't have. {sorry if that didn't make sense, the whole situation I am referring to doesn't really make sense to me either.. still} Long, crazy annoying, way over told story short, there was a boy that I thought I was in love with, but when push came to shove, he wasn't committed. I woke up one day and realized that by being with him, I was slowly {and so quietly that I almost didn't realize it escaping} loosing myself.  I can look back and see that I was enduring this crazy emotional roller coaster for a reason I have yet to discover. This guy is a great, amazing, spiritual person, just not the right one for me. I am so grateful that I live my life close enough to the spirit that I could recognize what wasn't right for me. Also, I am grateful that Heavenly Father loves me enough to make me go through these things so I can learn. Also, I am SOO grateful for my family and friends that gave me advice, but also didn't get too mad when I didn't really listen...

Guys, if there is one thing that I could teach all of you through my experiences this past little while, it would be to trust in the Lord, our Savior Jesus Christ and in Heavenly Father and heed to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. They know us better then anyone on this planet and they Love us more than we could ever imagine. I often struggle, but when I wake up and remember to turn my burdens on the Lord, I am instantly made happy again. I love you all and I want you all to know that God has a plan. He has a plan for each and every one of us and his timing is perfect.

Here are some pictures of my life, just cause i love pictures:)

First Football game with these lovelies

Baby bro on Christmas morning

Wedding dress shopping for little miss engaged!!! 

My best friend Riley and Karley

Mckenna and our new puppy Dash

We got to go to the General Relief Society Meeting

KATE! she left to serve a full time mission in Carlsbad CA

Mc with a weird scarf thing... I'm not really sure what it is

One of my very best friends Autumn

Jenessa is going to Finland on her mission

Got a job at the Dean of Religions office. I LOVE IT

Look at that beautiful sunset:)

Sloane and my mother during the summer

Can you guess what I was for Halloween?

My momma came to visit:)

Ashley's surprise party

My beautiful roommates

7 months already?!

Okay, I suck. I know that. It has been seven whole months since I last posted.. I have seriously said nothing about my college life whatsoever. For that I apologize.

I am currently well into my second semester of my freshmen year at BYU. I ABSOLUTELY love it here! When I got my acceptance letter to both BYU & BYU-I I was really having a hard time deciding which one I should go to. After much praying, I decided BYU was the right place for me. There has to be a reason why I got accepted, my high school GPA or SAT/ACT scores weren't extremely phenomenal and I got in anyway, I know that the Lord played a huge part in my acceptance and if He wants me to be here then here is where I am going to be.

BYU is an amazing and spiritual place. I don't have to worry about living my life the way that I want to. That is something that I have always wanted, I can be my own person! There are so many kind people that I have met and I know I will have as friends for a very long time:)

here is just a recap of a few of the fun things I have done since beginning my adventure:

 This was one of the first things I did!! go to a football game with my friends! 

One one on the left is Aley and the one on the right is my roommate Alexandra

This is a different day but still a football game. Each time we went to a game we would all go to the front row, it didn't really matter where our tickets were, we would just make friends with the people around us. Do you see those two guys with pom poms in the air? well, Aley and Alexandra ended up going on dates with them,,, I'd say it was pretty successful!

This was Halloween! both of their names are Alexandra so they went as thing 1 & 2 and I was Willy Wonka. yeah, were awesome.. I know:)

This was a thing called "True Blue Football." Basically you go slip and sliding down a hill with blue foam pumping down it. My shirt was previously white...

This is something that i LOVE doing. we were bored and so we played dress up! painted our faces and got in crazy outfits and took a million pictures. Then we went to Wendy's and got frosties.. only, we couldn't buy them because we didn't have a car and the inside was closed already so we had a random car of guys order them for us... haha can I say one of the most awkward moments EVER!?!

This was a '90s dance that i went to with my friend Mackynzie. we don't actually dress like this every day.

We had a ward talent show where we met everyone in our ward and this is Zach & Tyler (& Alexandra of course)

I do this when I am bored...all the time

hahah Macky got asked on a date and naturally we all decided to go with her so we went to a tumbling gym and jumped on trampolines:) From left to right; Me, Mackynzie, Paige, and Taylor (TayBayWms)

We went to Emily's house for a dessert party!

 I did a Mud Run with my friend Allie. I LOVE HER so much.

haha this is a nerd dance that I went to a long time ago.. this is Mark. ummm before I tell you how we met, just please know that sometimes I speak before I think... okay, so i was in the Cannon Center and I saw Mark and it was the same day as the nerd dance and he was wearing nerdy clothes so I said, "Oh! are you going to the nerd dance??" and he was like, "Yeah.." then I said something along the lines of, "Well I like your costume.." only he wasn't wearing his costume yet and that was just his actual clothing... so I felt like an idiot.. i guess it is a good thing that we are really good friends now :) haha

This is just a normal day for our crew... once, we smashed 12 people in this car... it seats 5.. lets just say we are awesome! i love these people. From Left to right; Ashley-Brooke, Becca, Taylor, Me, Zach, and Ryan.

This is when we went ice skating. nothing to exciting, i just love them all. except that guy on the far right, i have no idea who he is, he just bombed our picture.

We went to Abercrombie. This is Kate and Haley. I love them too!!! there was a really hot guy working there and i am a huge boob so i didn't talk to him!! but he did take this picture.. afterwards we decided he was gay.. i hate when that happens:(

Over the President's Day weekend our crew decided to go to two cabins up Weber Canyon. It was seriously one of the most memorable experiences I will ever have. Lets just say the church is true!! 

I LOVE these girls with all of my heart!

From left to right,  Jenessa, me, Ashley-Brooke, Becca, and Lauren

This was our cabin crew, we are all such great friends now! I love them all so much! We are like family:)

I photo bombed this picture:) pretty proud of myself:)

this is Richard, he got stuck in a tunnel they made. ahaha I don't know, this is just funny

We went disco skating, some of us dressed up and some didn't... Josh is such a stud:)

We went to a paint dance, this may look like it was fun but actually it was quite painful, i got stepped on a million times and my feet were bruised for a week. but it was fun too

i fell asleep on my desk for like an hour... college is exhausting...

we got to shoot the cannon at the last football game!!! it was really fun! even though Kate punched me in the face when she pulled the string.... haha

these girls are my future roommates and i am so excited for next year when we will party all the time. they are seriously some of my best friends here

I promise I will be better at posting on my blog:)

I love you all!!!! 

no braces!

so a few interesting events have taken place in the last couple of days...
first off,

 i FINALLY got my braces off and can i just say that it is such a great feeling!! they are sooo soft!!! at first i loathed them with a passion but now that they are half gone, i really do appreciate them.
here are some pictures!

Before:

After!! :

 nice huh?

Then it was my birthday, and we went to Portland and shopped around and went to cafe yummm! it is SO good, and the guy there gave me free food! he didn't even know it was my birthday! 

and THEN i left for college, kinda bitter sweet but i am really truely excited, just sad to leave all my friends and family. college is going to be SUPER fun though and i cant wait to be there.

packing...

Goodbye Polly! :( 

 and Traci.. :(

this is what 13 hours in the car looks like,,,

I got to see Taneal!!! i love her!!! :)))

have a good one guys! ill post more soon! :)

And just cause its funny!:

Here is one of Mc!